the fear of “Yes”

Sitting on a couch in a room in the South of Louisiana, notebook in hand, I felt the cool air of the AC on my face. I was with about ten other people listening to a talk on the 2 year commitment of a foreign missionary. My mind began wandering to all the possibilities that could go wrong and my imagination was not leaving anything out–parasites, kidnapping, disease–the list went on. Then, seemingly out of no where, I heard:

Yes

My mind was racing but I also had such an immense calmness come over my heart.”But how, Lord? I’m so scared and I’m letting the fear of the future take hold.”

I’m not asking you to say “Yes” to 2 years, you only have to say “Yes” to today.

This. This has been carrying me through since June when I accepted the position as a foreign missionary with Family Missions Company. I could let the anxieties of “what if’s” take over and paralyze me, but that isn’t living. We are not called to live in fear but instead are called to take up the cross with Christ and walk with Him.

Fear not, I am with you;

Be not dismayed; I am your God.

I will strengthen you, and help you,

And uphold you with my right hand of justice.

Isaiah 41:10

Just as Jesus gave His life for us, we are called to give our lives to Him. I felt that call this past year as I discerned missionary life and I decided to say “Yes” wholeheartedly. I didn’t say, “Yes, but only sometimes. When it gets hard, I’m dropping out.”

 

Can you imagine what would have happened if Jesus had said “Nah, I’m not feeling it” and disappeared in a puff of smoke when He was sentenced to death? He could have done that. He is GOD. Yet, He said “Yes” to a horrible way to die because He loves every one of us.

 

Even after saying my yes, I find the anxieties tend to work themselves into my mind. Not if, but when this happens, I meditate on Jesus’ time in the garden before His arrest. It is often easy to forget that Jesus is fully God and fully human. He felt every human emotion including fear. He even went so far as to beg God to spare Him from death.

He advanced a little and fell prostrate in prayer, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as You will.”

Matthew 26:39

Jesus, more than anyone, knows the pain of saying “Yes.” He invites you to call upon Him in times of fear. He invites you to say “Yes” to today.

 

If you want to hear a perfect song that depicts Jesus’ time in the Garden and the struggle that comes with saying “Yes,” listen to “Garden” by NEEDTOBREATHE. I’ll attach the link here.

 

3 thoughts on “the fear of “Yes”

  1. When I read this I was thinking this is very similar to what Joshua is going to do. Not for God but for his country. As of now he will be going to an unstable part of the world to help a country get back on its feet. I am so scared but know he is doing what he has always wanted to do. Be safe and do wonderful things!!

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  2. This is beautiful. Your courage to say yes is inspiring! God can do so much with us when we cooperate and say yes to his call. Thank you for sharing this journey. I’m praying for you! Love, Jan

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